What you thought was a harmless habit could actually be quite detrimental to your relationship.
- Is your sex life non-existent?
Truth be told, it probably is. In 2008, CNN reported that, "40 million Americans have what experts call a sexless marriage."
Why? Experts are saying technology could be the source of the problem.
In an interview with BBC, Dr. Cath Mercer explained, "modern technologies are behind the trend...People have tablets and smartphones and they are taking them into the bedroom, using Twitter and Facebook, answering emails."
Dr. Meagan Tyler, author of "Selling Sex Short", points out, "Technology is affecting all kinds of social interactions. You interrupt face-to-face conversations to answer your mobile or reply to a text. Why would sex be any different?"
Technology is obviously here to stay, so what can you do to fix this problem? Here are a few suggestions:
1. Make your bed a wireless zone
When you head into your bedroom, turn off your lap tops, iPads, cell phones, etc. Many marriage and family therapists recommend reserving your bed for intimacy, connection and sleep. Unplug your television and move it to another room. It's a sad day when surveys show that people would rather give up sex in exchange for a new plasma TV.
2. Get a grip on your daily usage
If you deal with cell phone anxiety, you have a problem. Brian Alexander, author of "America Unzipped: In Search of Sex and Satisfaction" explains, "It's tough to look forward to, or enjoy, sex if you are anxious." If you're too attached to your cell phone that you can't even go an hour without checking it, then you need to figure out a way to get rid of that anxiety.
3. Leave work at work
Set a goal to stop checking and answering emails after 7 p.m. It'll do wonders for your relationship and work-life balance. In fact, according to the Harvard Business Review, your late-night emails are probably hurting your team's engagement and performance, so cutting down will help your overall productivity.
4. Get help for your pornography problem
If one or both of you have a pornography problem, you need to get help. According to Fight the New Drug, studies have shown that "porn often leads to less sex and less satisfying sex. And for many users, porn eventually means no sex at all." No matter how hard to you try to justify it, pornography is a destructive habit that will hurt your relationship.
5. Put it on the schedule
If you aren't making sex a priority, then schedule it in. Set up a specific date and time with your spouse, and then protect it. Put the kids to bed early. Book a hotel room, if you need it. Go out on a date and have a real conversation -- uninterrupted by any potential distractions. Make it a priority to make genuine connections with your spouse.
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